By Renee Sussman
How do you view and pursue happiness? Happiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Whether it involves your family, work, or hobbies, your definition of happiness is unique.
Some people are happy just to be alive and meet their basic needs, such as, according to Maslow:
• Food
• Shelter
• Clothing
• Chocolate (OK, OK, but a good idea, no?)
Can money buy happiness? Some seem to think so. However, an increase in material wealth does not correlate to an increase in happiness. Even lottery winners only reported increased happiness for the first six months.
No matter how you define happiness, here are six essential inner conversations to have with yourself to help create the space for being happy:
1. Define your essence and what happiness means for you. Then evaluate how that relates to your current state and set a goal for positive changes. What will your life look like when you reach your goal? Check in with yourself often by asking, “Does this make me happy?”
2. Don’t compare yourself to the Joneses, the Smiths, or the whomevers – appreciate what you have. Love what is and count your blessings. Everyone experiences envy and resulting insecurity at some point, but don’t make it a habit; you’re just setting yourself up to feel bad. Instead, tell yourself you’re good enough just the way you are.
3. Live in the moment by fully committing yourself to joy. Encourage yourself to let go. Engage in activities that are rewarding, challenging, and that leverage your talents. Experience flow by enjoying just the doing, not necessarily the outcome or accomplishment.
4. Reach out and stay connected. We all have a need to belong. Statistics show that people in relationships experience greater happiness in life. So have satisfying conversations with people who share your opinions, ideals, etc. Build ties with family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. It will make life more meaningful and therefore, happier.
5. Don’t condemn or criticize. It creates a negative lens through which you see everything. Praise someone at least once a day. What you put out there you get back. When you get angry, don’t stay there. Holding onto anger or resentment will most likely harm you more than anyone else. Gain perspective and remind yourself of your commitment to positive change. Reassure yourself that this too shall pass.
6. Take responsibility for your own happiness. It’s no one else’s. Your approach to happiness says a lot about who you are and how you feel about yourself. Like comedian Al Franken’s character Stuart Smalley says in the mirror, “You’re good enough, smart enough, and darn it…people like me!” Sounds corny, but positive affirmations work.
Now imagine that you’re talking with someone you know. Is this person positive? Are you connected and appreciative? Happy to just be around him or her? The small choices you make every day… where you are, what you do, how you choose to think, and whom you’re with…can boost your happiness level significantly. So start talking to yourself! You’ll both be glad you did.
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” Abraham Lincoln
For over 20 years, Renée Sussman has helped individuals and companies clarify the change they desire, adapt to it, and transition smoothly. Please visit her Web site for more information.
How do you view and pursue happiness? Happiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Whether it involves your family, work, or hobbies, your definition of happiness is unique.
Some people are happy just to be alive and meet their basic needs, such as, according to Maslow:
• Food
• Shelter
• Clothing
• Chocolate (OK, OK, but a good idea, no?)
Can money buy happiness? Some seem to think so. However, an increase in material wealth does not correlate to an increase in happiness. Even lottery winners only reported increased happiness for the first six months.
No matter how you define happiness, here are six essential inner conversations to have with yourself to help create the space for being happy:
1. Define your essence and what happiness means for you. Then evaluate how that relates to your current state and set a goal for positive changes. What will your life look like when you reach your goal? Check in with yourself often by asking, “Does this make me happy?”
2. Don’t compare yourself to the Joneses, the Smiths, or the whomevers – appreciate what you have. Love what is and count your blessings. Everyone experiences envy and resulting insecurity at some point, but don’t make it a habit; you’re just setting yourself up to feel bad. Instead, tell yourself you’re good enough just the way you are.
3. Live in the moment by fully committing yourself to joy. Encourage yourself to let go. Engage in activities that are rewarding, challenging, and that leverage your talents. Experience flow by enjoying just the doing, not necessarily the outcome or accomplishment.
4. Reach out and stay connected. We all have a need to belong. Statistics show that people in relationships experience greater happiness in life. So have satisfying conversations with people who share your opinions, ideals, etc. Build ties with family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. It will make life more meaningful and therefore, happier.
5. Don’t condemn or criticize. It creates a negative lens through which you see everything. Praise someone at least once a day. What you put out there you get back. When you get angry, don’t stay there. Holding onto anger or resentment will most likely harm you more than anyone else. Gain perspective and remind yourself of your commitment to positive change. Reassure yourself that this too shall pass.
6. Take responsibility for your own happiness. It’s no one else’s. Your approach to happiness says a lot about who you are and how you feel about yourself. Like comedian Al Franken’s character Stuart Smalley says in the mirror, “You’re good enough, smart enough, and darn it…people like me!” Sounds corny, but positive affirmations work.
Now imagine that you’re talking with someone you know. Is this person positive? Are you connected and appreciative? Happy to just be around him or her? The small choices you make every day… where you are, what you do, how you choose to think, and whom you’re with…can boost your happiness level significantly. So start talking to yourself! You’ll both be glad you did.
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” Abraham Lincoln
For over 20 years, Renée Sussman has helped individuals and companies clarify the change they desire, adapt to it, and transition smoothly. Please visit her Web site for more information.
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